Oh come on! We knew we were never going to own bikinis like Kate Upton does, but now she has to take one-piece swimsuits too? People had almost forgotten the legacy of Pam Anderson, and now Kate’s busting out a red one-piece in Vogue Spain. Couldn’t you have stuck with those terrifyingly small bikini bottoms you were rocking for awhile, girl? Soon everyone else is going to have to start wearing those old-timey striped swimsuits with built-in shorts from the 1920s to avoid comparison. Why did we type that? Now Kate knows what she has to look good in next!
Of course, as “la novia nueva de America,” Kate’s Vogue Spain shoot is only one of approximately one billion photoshoots we’ve seen so far this summer where the Sports Illustrated model has demonstrated her complete mastery of the swimsuit. There’s her patriotic GQ spread, there are those Terry Richardson photos that somehow manage to look way too wholesome to be shot by Terry Richardson, there’s her own bathing suit line. What other swimware could Kate possibly dominate next? Oh no…if she makes wearing a giant Tweetie Bird t-shirt she won at Six Flags over a bathing suit sexy, so help us god…
[Photo: Vogue Spain/Miguel Reveriego]
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