We knew that pompadour was the work of the devil! The fabulous, fabulous devil! We’re kidding about the malevolent nature of Miley Cyrus‘ poof, of course, but news that Miley is suspected of criminal battery following an alleged nightclub brawl are so out-of-character, we instinctively tried to think of some other rationale. According to TMZ, a police report filed Sunday morning alleges that the singer and fiance Liam Hemsworth got into an argument with another patron that turned physical Saturday night while at Hollywood’s Beacher’s Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel. In the report, the alleged victim claims he bumped into Liam’s chair, causing the Red Dawn star to turn on him…though he claims it was Cyrus who ended up “pushing him away and striking him in the face.” So that’s why we were thinking that the bleach ate through to Miley’s brain and triggered some sort of berserker state. We’re just spit-balling here, you guys! There has to be some kind of reasonable explanation, right?

Or maybe this story is so unbelievable because it, um, never actually happened. According to another eye witness, while Cyrus did turn up the sass, “Miley never threw a punch.” That makes more sense to us. Have you ever seen that girl’s Twitter account? It’s 40% Buddhist sayings, 60% puppy photos. Though photos of her hair have been taking over her Instagram…we’ve got our eye on you, Pompadour! Don’t think Miley won’t shave you off if she has to!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Source: That Haircut Was Only The Beginning!: Miley Cyrus A Suspect In Alleged Nightclub Brawl