Guys, guys, you can stop throwing up now! Brett Ratner and Sandra Bullock are not going out with each other! Despite what InTouch Magazine proclaimed on its cover via salacious blurb, the Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close actress and the defamed would-be Oscars producer/ homophobic comment-making director are not knocking…knocking…knocking boots. Oh boy, here comes our lunch again! “We think that it’s incredibly sad that in these times, this magazine would resort to complete fabrication, solely for financial gain,” Bullock and Ratner reported to The Huffington Post about the sexy, perturbing rumor. Thank goodness! We’ve been trying to eat the second half of this sandwich all day!
“There is not a shred of accuracy in their story,” their denial continued. “We have not seen nor spoken to each for over a decade. We both had a great time after the Oscars, just not with each other.” Phew! And with that, Brett can get back to directing The Rock in Hercules, Sandra can get back to filming the sci-fi thriler Gravity with George Clooney and you, dear reader, can get back to what you were doing before we busted in with the good news: trying not to barf over that alleged Lindsay Lohan/Terry Richardson hookup.
Sienna Miller wants to talk about her impending baby times with alleged fiance Tom Sturridge. It’s just that doing so might have devastating consequences. We guess? “I’m in my second trimester, so I’m I-can-talk-about-it pregnant,” the G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra star told British Vogue in their April issue. “Even though I’m under strict instructions not to say anything as it would completely defeat the point of everything I’ve tried to achieve in the last eight years.” Wow, what could Sienna possibly say about her fetus that would completely destroy her life all the way back to 2004? Is she actually pregnant with government secrets? Or some kind of adorable baby time machine?
Of course, we completely understand if Sienna wants to keep the more intimate details to herself; being among the numerous celebrities whose phones were hacked by the now-defunct U.K. tabloid New Of The World would make anyone reticent to let the media into their lives. So what can Miller say about her baby that wouldn’t put everything dear to her at risk? “I’m feeling fine,” the actress laughs. “It’s all progressing nicely and it’s very exciting.” Oh no, the world as we know it is being ripped asunder! Quickly, Sienna! To the adorable baby time machine!
Not to be outdone by Snooki or ex-husband Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson posed nude, Demi Moore-style, for the new issue of Elle. (In an alternate cover, she also wears a gorgeous red Narcisso Rodriguez dress, pictured below.) We feel like she’s been pregnant forever (and imagine how she feels!), and are surprised to find that giant bump contains only one little girl. Well, we suppose that goes with the territory of having a kid with a former football player like Eric Johnson.
In the fashion mag, Simpson says she hopes her little one has her sense of style. “Ah swear, ah will croak if she asks me for a pair of Nikes instead of Christian Louboutins! Eric is so athletic. We’re gonna have this ath-a-letic girl and I won’t even be able to take her shopping.” (That’s the Elle editors mimicking her Dallas accent, btw.)
The singer-turned-fashion-mogul-turned-Fashion Star mentor also talked to the magazine about why she’s OK with being attacked in the press all the time: She’s seen other women go through much worse. “I grew up very strong! You know, my father used to be an adolescent therapist. I remember sitting at his office, watching the girls walkin’ in and out. Kids doin’ coke at 16 … heroin. Pregnant at 14. I could see what I didn’t want to be.”
In stark contrast to her bosomtastic appearances on The View during her first pregnancy in the halcyon days of 2005, FilarskiHasselbeck stayed much more prim both on- and off-air during her second pregnancy. So much so, in fact, that we’re pretty sure she’s wearing a burka on the cover of this magazine.
Celine looks très bien in this virginal white ensemble, no doubting that. And while we respect the fact that the 42 year-old decided against bearing her Le Bump, there’s a reason why this was the cover of Hello Canada and not, say, the stateside version of People
If the 6’4″ Candace Parker wasn’t already a basketball star, she could easily model. Perhaps inspired by the imposing guns of Michelle Obama, Parker decided that baring her biceps was as far as she’d go on this cover.
We haven’t done the research, but we’re fairly certain that Brooke Burke has been on the cover of Maxim, FHM and other lad mags of yesteryear a combined 17,000 times. In this particular photo shoot, Burke exposed her midriff in about a classy way as possible. She looks cute, but based on her other scantily-clad photo shoots, we’re sorta surprised she didn’t decide to push the envelope a bit further.
The perfect pregnancy outfit, if we do say so ourselves! Her flowing robes serve as a reminder that Paula Patton is a stone cold stunner, the likes of which have not been seen since Aphrodite herself. She’s clearly not afraid to show off her rockin’ bod, which is why we switched from the Prude Meter™ to the Shameless Meter™, but we gave her the lowest possible score we could. Robin Thicke is one lucky sonofabee, if you know what we’re sayin’.
Heidi Klum turns us nine kinds of verklempt. Shame doesn’t exist in her dictionary, and for that, we are grateful. She looks totally ravishing here and, in traditional Klum fashion, she teases plenty while actually showing nothing.
From the looks of this photoshoot, it seems that Brooke Shields and her dress fell into a blue lagoon on the way to the set. Or maybe she got splashed by a car driving through a monsterous rain puddle while waiting to hail a cab. Either way, her outfit is very see-through.
Based on what we’ve seen of Monica Bellucci in movies and photoshoots, we’re fairly certain that the phrase “body issues” doesn’t translate into Italian. By keeping her bra and robe on, she’s able to stay relatively modest while also projecting that A) Pregnancy can be super sexy and B) She’s probably — nah, DEFINITELY — into pregnant sex. (RELATED: TheFABLife’s Gallery of the 21 Hottest Italian Women Alive)
A few years prior to her other baby bump bearing cover, Monica went fully nakes for the cover. She stayed as modest as possible, considering she had no clothes on. And, of course, the photographer made the choice to crop the photo in such a way that any “offensive” bodyparts were not shown.
Don’t get it twisted, we’re not begrudging Cindy’s decision to drop trou for high fashion magazine W. Rather, we applaud it (and we also applaud the late Herb Ritts for his famed Playboy photographs of Cindy, which you can Google on your own if you’re so inclined)! In fact, we cheer her decision to show her (white girl) booty as prominently as she did, too. There’s a thin line between being proud and shameless, a line we hope Cindy Crawford never discovers.
One of our greatest regrets in life is never having built up the courage to ask out Claudia Schiffer on a date. Of course, we’ve never met her in person, so we’ve never actually had the chance to do so, but we’re pretty sure we’d freeze on the spot if we ever did. But that’s neither here nor there! Schiffer goes Der Monty — that’s German for “Full Monty” — for this Vogue cover which, as far as we can tell, is the exact same pose as Demi Moore’s groundbreaking pose. Speaking of which…
The Big Bang of pregnancy photoshoots! It looks positively classy when viewed in comparison to today’s TMZified culture, but back in the day, this was an international controversy. And never, EVER underestimate Demi Moore’s ability to be shameless. I mean, have you ever seen her Oui shoot? (Google it if you must, you horndog!)
While other actress/model types showed more skin, this cover is playing up the Pregnancy Sex factor to levels that would make Monica Bellucci blush. Let’s face it, this photo shoot is just glossy lactation porn.
“Hey Mr. Photographer Guy! Let me get this straight. You want me to pose naked while wearing nothing but a tacky leather jacket? Sure thing, let me slather my face in makeup and call my homeskillets over at Sunset Tan for a full bronzer sesh! Wait, I have one demand. Can you show my underboob? GRATZI. Aguilera OUT!”
These were heady times for Britney Spears. She had just gotten knocked up by Kevin Federline and was clearly hoping that posing for a classy mag like Harper’s Bazaar would give her already sagging career a much-needed jolt. Her stroke of shameless genius? Ensuring that there were not one but TWO covers of her! Part 1 here, Part 2 on the next slide.
If you’re not British or a closet fan of the short-lived NBC reality flop, I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, you’ve probably never heard of Myleeene Klass. Well, now you have! AND you’ve seen her nakes. Does it get any more shameless? Sadly, yes…
London “Deelishis” Charles had to make out with (and possibly even give it up to) Flavor Flav, so we know she’s already fairly shameless. However, when she allowed herself to be photographed in what looks to be a home-sheared turtleneck that bares her bloomin’ bump on this cover, we knew she was pulling out every trick in the “My 15 Minutes Are Almost Up” book.
Does it get any more shameless than habitually letting an 80+ year old geezer mount you as a way to achieve fame? Kendra would probably say that there are worse ways to become a millionaire, but the lack of shame she showed when she was forced to have sex with Hugh Hefner was reflected on this cover of In Touch, where she popped on a random bikini to score the cover of the magazine that’s on the low ring of the glossy gossip totem pole.
Tiffani Thiessen brought along her adorable daughter Harper, 21 months, as she checked out the launch of the Diane von Furstenberg + Gap Kids and Baby Gap collection in Los Angeles, Calif. on Saturday (March 3).
The White Collar actress posted this pic on her Facebook page along with the caption, “Luv my @stelladot! Thx so much,” a shout-out to jewelry retailer Stella + Dot, who designed the pendant that Tiffani was wearing at the event.
Tiffani recently joined forces with fellow celeb-mom Elisabeth Rohm in asking for support of Baby Buggy, a non-profit organization that is dedicated to providing clothing, products and services to families in need. Through an initiative titled Do the KIND Thing, they’re challenging supporters to carry out one act of kindness – if enough people participate, Tiffani and Elisabeth will deliver diapers and other items to needy families in NYC and LA.
“More and more families are facing poverty every day,” Tiffani says. “In fact, in California alone, a child is born into poverty every five minutes.”
“This is an issue that cannot afford to be overlooked, and we are thrilled to Do the KIND Thing in support of Baby Buggy and give people everywhere the opportunity to be a part of the solution — simply by carrying out one act of kindness,” Elisabeth added.