Jade Goody‘s mum Jackiey Budden has suffered a miscarriage at the age of 55.
In an emotional interview with the Sunday People newspaper, Jackiey revealed she was 10 weeks pregnant when she lost her baby.
Jackiey, who had conceived the child with 45-year-old boyfriend John Hickinbottom, said she was hit with cramps and bleeding earlier this month. “The moment I realised the baby had died, I broke down in tears. It was so painful, both physically and mentally. It was just so awful.”
Jackiey said that the prospect of becoming a mum again was like being given “one last chance” by God.
I thought Jade was bringing me a little girl from up there. It was like she was helping me from Heaven,” she added. “I’ve lost Jade and I’ve lost contact with my son Brett so I was over the moon that I had another chance. Now I’m so upset, I’m grieving again.”
She added: “The baby would never have replaced Jade but it would have given me something to love, like I love her. This time I would have been a proper mum.”
The baby – which Jackiey named Harriet – would have been born next March around the third anniversary of 27-year-old Jade’s death from cervical cancer.
Jackiey revealed that while the pregnancy wasn’t planned, she and John were delighted when they found out they would be starting a family after just one month of dating.
When she first found out she was pregnant, she “was shocked and scared.” She added, “I was scared of what it would mean for a woman of my age to be pregnant. Straight away I rang John and he was over the moon. As I got used to it I because so happy at the prospect of being a mum again.”
Jackiey said that Jade, a former British TV personality, would have been thrilled for her.
“Jade would have been so happy. I thought she would be looking down, I think it was a present from her. I’m a very spiritual person and I thought it was meant to be.”
Jackiey thought this was her second chance at motherhood.
This time, I promised myself I would have been a really good mother,” she said. “To have lost the chance is heartbreaking. I thought I was getting somewhere with my life but now I’m back to being sad again. I have lost Jade and now I have lost what would have been her little sister.”